TNG S1E11 "The Big Goodbye" Review by AnswerMan

Horrible:Meh:Adequate:Good:Fantastic

"Hey everyone, I just realized that we have this facility on board that uses probably the greatest technological advancements ever, and none of us have bothered to check it out."

"Really? What does it do?"

"Well, it malfunctions, and puts your life in jeopardy. Every. Single. Time."

Ahhh, the first holodeck episode. Setting the precedent for so many bad episodes that all follow the same formula. I will confess, however, that I usually still find them fun, because the technology is just so cool, and I always imagine the types of things that I would use such a place for. Contrary to popular belief, there are good holodeck episodes in Trek. My favorite is DS9's "Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang." By no coincidence, the episode involves using the holodeck as it was intended- to play out a game, and work as a team to win against the programming. That is fantastic Trek, but unfortunately, "The Big Goodbye" is not.



The Enterprise is on its way to meet a strange alien race called the Jarada, who have an insanely difficult language, and get off on shunning people who misuse it. So Picard must flawlessly greet them in their native tongue, or years of negotiations will go down the tubes. To take the edge off, he decides to try out the new holodeck, which apparently is technology that none of the crew is familiar with, since Picard goes on and on about it in a meeting, dominating time with his personal exploits in mid-twentieth century America. He realizes that he screwed up by not dressing for the part, which is always something that has confused me. Couldn't the holodeck just project appropriate clothing onto people, as opposed to having to dress up? Anyway, he heads back in appropriately clothed for the period that he chose, and joined by some random redshirt that claims to be an expert on the story, and Data.

"Mmmmm."

While they're trying things out in the holodeck, the Jarada scan the ship, which causes it to rumble and shake, and also causes the holodeck to malfunction. Apparently no other systems are affected. Even though there's obviously something wrong, and the doors are threatening to chop her in half, Dr. Crusher joins the fun in the malfunctioning chamber of death. There she really gets into the role, and remembers that she's a girl and actually does her make up and tries to look nice, a skill that she picks up from one of the holographic regulars. When Picard sees her, he lustfully states that she wears it well, and then they awkwardly stare into each other's eyes while licking their lips for an unecessarily long amount of time. Are Picard and Crusher going to hook up? (Hint: they are not!) Once they realize that they are trapped there, and the computer is not responding to commands, they begin making idiotic attempts to reason with the characters there by explaining that they're from a spaceship and just visiting. Then the redshirt gets shot, because of course.

Meanwhile the crew is trying to figure out how to get the captain out so he can make his highly scrutinized greeting to the weird aliens. Wesley says that he has actually studied the holodeck user manuals, but only because his mother is in there does Riker let him assist. As soon as Wes arrives, Geordi just throws his hands up and gets out of the way while Boy Wonder uses an odd microscope type thing to interface with the holodeck controls. He concludes that there's only one thing to try, and it either will fix it, or cause the people stuck in there to vaporize. Wait, what? Why? How does resetting the holodeck cause actual people to disappear? It's just a room with projectors, right? And isn't the only basic problem that the door won't open? Can't they just pry that sucker open and go in to get them? Anyway, they all figure that the teenager must know what he's talking about, and all their lives should just be gambled on a hunch. So they throw the switch.

In the holodeck things flash to a snowstorm for a moment for some reason, and then the exit appears. But guess what? No one comes in. Or is even outside waiting. It was vitally important that the captain get out of there to make his greeting, but now he has all the time in the world to leisurely say goodbye to the fictional characters. Two of them try to exit the holodeck, and slowly vanish feet first. When a remaining character asks Picard what will happen to him when they end the program, Picard admits that he has no idea. Because, you know, he hasn't read the user manual. Well Picard and Data return to the bridge (still in costume) just in time for Picard to give a hilariously awkward guttural and bizarre sounding speech that pleases the Jarada. This part is actually very well done, and fun to watch.

This episode does accomplish one thing: it humanizes Captain Picard. He carries on excitedly about how much fun he's having in the holodeck. He comes on to Crusher. And he is forced to memorize an embarrassing speech. I will also give the episode credit for introducing the holodeck, which is a fun and fascinating feature of Trek. But it fails at making much sense, and neither the holodeck gangster story nor the weird alien story is all that engaging. For these reasons, this show is only Meh.

Published April 4, 2017.