Voyager S2E4 "Elogium" Review by AnswerMan

"NOM NOM NOM NOM"

Horrible;Meh:Adequate:Good:Fantastic

Though things do get super creepy, this one is still a fun ride. But first we have to suffer through Neelix being super jealous and weird with Kes for being casually friendly with Paris. Looking back over the series as a whole, I just can't understand why they thought that making the already strange relationship between Kes and Neelix so dysfunctional and borderline abusive was a good choice. If they were steering the thing toward a break up from the start, then they sure missed an opportunity to get the viewers emotionally invested in the couple, so that we would go through a mourning of the relationship as well, instead of simply feeling relieved that the entire icky thing was over. Anyway, Kes notices a bug on a plant and remarks how beautiful it is, and Neelix chastises her for having a wonderful outlook on the universe. Cut to a few minutes later, and in one of the most chilling scenes in the series, an obviously disturbed Kes is shoveling the large bugs down her gullet by the handful. It comes out of nowhere and is just so bizarre. When Neelix later finds her eating gallons of mashed potatoes mixed with dirt, he drags her off to see The Doctor.



Meanwhile the crew have managed to get the ship caught in a stream of space-dwelling sea creatures. They can't maneuver the ship out, and they're being carried away. The life forms are also emitting some technobabble that is suspected to be what is messing with Kes. She confesses to Janeway that she is going through the Elogium, which is the time when Ocampa women become fertile. It involves a lot of sweating, crazy eyes, and growing a knob on their back where they carry the baby. Also, it is happening way too early. It should happen in the fourth of fifth year, but Kes is not even two. Which...wow. So how long have her and Neelix been together? This is just so weird. And isn't it convenient that everyone in the universe uses Earth years? Then she tells Neelix that the Elogium only happens once, so if she ever wants to have a baby, it has to be now, and she wants to mate with him. Bow-chicka-wow-wow! He can look forward to being physically entwined with her for six days straight thanks to the glue that she's secreting from her palms. She's literally writhing around like a cat in heat, begging for him to take her. So what does the super jealous and possessive Neelix do when his girlfriend is pleading with him to do some epic once-in-a-lifetime screwing, followed by securing his position permanently in her life by becoming her baby daddy? He says he needs to sleep on it. What the fuck, Neelix? He says he's just not sure if he's ready for the commitment of having a child. Ok, I get that, but how long is an Ocampa even a child? I mean, the mother in this situation isn't even two yet. This is really not much of a commitment. And what exactly else is Neelix doing with his time, anyway? Would this interfere with his strict schedule of annoying the Vulcan and preparing food in a redundant and unnecessary way?

"Uh, let me sleep on it. Baby, baby, let me sleep on it."

Interestingly, it's the Vulcan that straightens up Neelix's point of view. He learns that Kes doesn't have to stop working in the sick bay, children bring joy to their parents, and a father is important to girls too. But while Neelix is being talked into the idea, Kes is being talked out of it by The Doctor. As he rubs her feet to cause her tongue to swell in preparation for mating (again, bow-chicka-WOW), she decides to call the whole thing off. I think we can all agree that this is for the best.

All the while Chakotay and Janeway have been discussing how they should handle fraternization between the crew members, while hurling double entendre at each other. In their fist meeting, Chakotay tells her that he witnessed a couple kissing in the turbo lift, and suggests that given their unique situation perhaps they should ban intimate interactions between crew members. But in the next meeting (over coffee that Chakotay drinks out of a bowl to remind us that he's a Native American), he suggests that they encourage breeding because he's going to need replacement crew members to march into battle some day. Janeway keeps a cool head throughout and adopts a position of not meddling one way or the other in the crew's love lives. She even says that eventually she expects that people will begin "pairing off," but that she won't since she's the captain and because she hasn't given up on a reunion with that guy in that picture.

Captains drink from clear glasses.

Back to the space problem of the week, they discover that the life-forms causing all their problems are sexually attracted to the ship. They watch as the smaller creatures mate with a spaceship-sized creature, who they determine is the male based on no evidence. The male engages the ship in some muscle-flexing, and they manage to shake it and the others off by feigning submission to its dominance.

Then the episode ends with Ensign Wildman (whose hair is much worse than Janeway's) informing the captain that she's all kinds of knocked-up. But don't worry, she's not involved in an impromptu space tryst, she conceived prior to being abandoned in the Delta Quadrant. Wait, so how long have they been out there?

Pictured: Truly horrible hair

This episode actually works quite well. It's unique in how through the telling of several story lines it stays true to one central theme. I like that they were contemplating how the ship's voyage home may span generations, and asked the question of if it was even ethical to bring children into such a situation. I like that Janeway, true to her resolve that she will find a way to get her crew home quickly, announces that she will not move on from her Earth relationship. I like exploring the sleazy sex lives of alien races like the Ocampa. I like the aspect of a child being born into the show. The weakest part was the space-dwelling life-forms, but they even managed to tie that into the show's overall tone. All in all, Elogium is Good Trek.

Published April 18, 2017