TOS S1E11 "The Corbomite Maneuver" Review By AnswerMan

Horrible:Meh:Adequate:Good:Fantastic

I remember this episode for the big bluff, but I had forgotten about the ending and all the focus on Bailey. It's also just crazy how it begins, with an insanely gratuitous scene of Kirk working out in sick bay, shirtless and sweaty, for his physical. McCoy seems to be having fun forcing him to work harder than he wishes, and even ignores a "condition: alert" (pre- red alert, I guess) flasher that Kirk can't see. After Kirk learns of the alert status, he heads down the corridor, still shirtless and sweaty. He asks about the status, and upon learning that the urgency is currently minimal, decides to change before heading to the bridge. When we get to the bridge, we see things from the point of view of the captain as he gets his briefing. Now, just why such an inordinate amount of time was wasted on where the captain was and how he got there is beyond me.



Anyway, there's a cubical space thingy in the way, and they can't escape it. Bailey is in the driver's seat today, and OMG he is such a fuck-up. Over and over again we are reminded that Bailey just can't cut the mustard. He freezes, ignores orders, blurts things out, and tries to spar verbally with Spock, which of course doesn't work. They try to run away from the space thingy, but it chases them on a collision course and they are forced to blow it up. Then they must decide between running away or heading back to check it out some more. Kirk reminds everyone that their mission is to seek out new life forms, so back into harm's way they go.

This time they are greeted by an enormous round space thingy, and the voice of Balok, who informs them that it's a good time to make good with their deity, because he's going to blow them up in ten minutes for destroying his probe. The message about their impending doom is broadcast throughout the ship, so Kirk addresses the crew to avoid chaos. He says:

Captain to crew- Those of you who have served for long on this vessel have encountered alien life forms. You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves and irrational fear of the unknown. But there's no such thing as the unknown. Only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood. In most cases we have found that intelligence capable of a civilization is capable of understanding peaceful gestures. Surely a life form advanced enough for space travel is advanced enough to eventually understand our motives. All decks, stand by.

As the minutes tick away, no one really knows what to do, and Spock draws a chess parallel and comes to the conclusion that it's checkmate. Bailey freaks right the hell out and is relieved of duty and escorted to quarters by....Bones? I guess all the security officers are busy at the moment dealing with other crew members that are losing their shit. Eventually Kirk is struck with a moment of enlightenment, as he realizes that he may be beat by the placement of the chess pieces, but that he can win with any hand in poker. He hails the ship and announces that Balok is more than welcome to blow up the ship (which he calls "United Earth Ship Enterprise"), they really don't care, but he should know that it's mutually-assured destruction, as the Enterprise is fitted with a Corbomite device that will blow up any ship that causes its destruction.  Just in time to possibly face oblivion, Bailey requests to return to his post and die like a man, and Kirk allows it. The clock ticks down, and ...nothing happens.

Balok tells them that he's now going to tow their ship to the home world, where the crew will be imprisoned and the ship destroyed. Balok arrives in a smaller tow vessel and off they go. But the smaller vessel is overpowered by the Enterpise at full throttle, and they break away. There's only one problem- Balok's ship is damaged and he is in danger. Much to the surprise of the rest of the crew, Kirk moves in to help. He again reminds them of the ship's mission to seek out new life, and states that this is a good time to demonstrate that their ideals are more than just words. So Kirk, McCoy, and the newly-reformed Bailey head over to the ship to offer aid. They find that the alien they were seeing on the view screen was just a dummy, and the actual Balok is less intimidating looking due to his small size. But I disagree, the snaggle-toothed-freaky-bald-man-boy is far creepier than the standard alien mannequin.

It turns out that the whole thing was just a test to see if their intentions were true. Balok is apparently the only one of his species, and is lonely. Two minutes after being certain that he was going to blow them up, and five seconds after being certain that he was going to poison them, Bailey decides to stay with Balok to......keep him company? Learn? I'm not sure.

"The Corbomite Maneuver" remains a Good episode of Trek, despite some flaws. I love that it properly espouses the ethics of Star Fleet and their dedication to their stated mission. I loved Kirk's speech to calm the crew. I didn't like sweaty Kirk, Kirk and McCoy giving Yeoman Rand the up and down look and joking that Kirk can't trust himself around women, anything about Bailey, or the strange way that it ended. And, would Balok have actually destroyed them with that first probe?

Published November 17, 2018